What I Wanted
by Kitten With A Tie
Summary: What if Ashfur never loved Squirrelflight? What if Brambleclaw never forgave Squirrelflight?


**Leafpool POV**

I woke up and stretched, lashing my tail and yawning. I padded out of the warriors den, a tiny frown on my face. When I walked over to the fresh-kill pile, I got the usual scowls from my Clanmates. As I closed my jaws over a vole, I heard a cough behind me and turned to see Dustpelt, his amber eyes narrowed. "Yes?" I murmured, my voice muffled. "You haven't earned your share of fresh-kill today," he growled.

I lashed my tail. "I need some strength, don't I?" I grabbed the vole and stalked away. Dustpelt growled, but didn't go after me. I ate slowly, trying to ignore the glares that cats gave me. Thornclaw stalked over, frowning. "Me and Ashfur are going hunting," he grunted. I screwed up my nose.

"Well, are you coming?" Not waiting for an answer, the ginger tom padded away, flicking his tail to the speckled grey tom. Ashfur hesitated, glancing at me before walking after his Clanmate. I hissed to myself, abandoning my half-eaten vole.

As I bounded into the forest, my ears pricked, I tried to find the two cats. I was lucky when I saw Ashfur's speckled tail disappear into some undergrowth. I let out a low growl before stomping after them.

"What is the matter with you?" I pricked my ears and crouched down. Thornclaw was facing Ashfur, and the two cats were stalking each other in a circle, claws unsheathed, ears flat, tails lashing.

A thread of panic shot through me. What if the toms leaped at each other?

"I didn't mean too!' snarled Ashfur, his blue eyes sparkling with anger. "You could've gave it away!" growled Thornclaw, his lip curled back to reveal sharp, glistening fangs. "But, I didn't!" replied the speckled grey tom. _What are they talking about? _I wondered silently.

Thornclaw sheathed his claws, but didn't remove the threatening look from his face. "If you give it away, then I'll cut off your whiskers." The tom kneaded the ground. "I don't want her to know yet." Ashfur looked away, a look of pain and sadness on his grey face.

"When will she be able to know?" he asked quietly. Thornclaw turned on him. "When I'm ready," he hissed. "When will you be ready?" he pressed. Ears flat, Thornclaw sighed. "I... I don't know."

Yellow eyes glittering with worry, his powerful shoulders sagged. "You won't tell anyone, right?" he meowed, looking at Ashfur. "You were lucky I didn't claw your nose off when you heard me mewing like a fool in my dreams."

Ashfur snorted. "Yeah, I'm a lucky cat." The thin tom sighed. "Well, I'm off to hunt." He stalked away, belly pressed close to the ground. I flicked my tail without thinking, and the bushes rattled.

I held my breath.

"What are you doing?" snarled Thornclaw, his breath hot on my ear. I quickly scrambled to my paws and met his burning yellow gaze.

"I smelled a mouse," I lied. "So I hid in the bushes. I heard you and Ashfur talking, and then the mouse got away." Thornclaw still glared at me, and I met his burning gaze. He then sighed.

"Sorry." Turning tail, the golden brown tabby stalked away. I sighed. _What could they possibly be arguing about? _I thought curiously as I tasted the air for a real mouse.

I spotted it. The creature was sitting on a root, its front paws clapsed on a nut, chewing contently.

I leaped and my paws hit it clumsily on the tail. Quickly, I gave it a swift bite to the neck.

"Very good." I nearly jumped out of my fur and spun around to see Ashfur, with a plump sparrow in his jaws.

"What's it to you?" I growled, bristling. "Just becuause I was a medicine cat-"  
"Hey," he interrupted with the flick of his tail. "I don't have anything against that." His blue gaze flashed. "I have nothing against that."

I blinked my amber eyes before snatching up the mouse and walking away, nose high and tail waving. He watched me, eyes narrowed. His gaze was unreadable.

When I couldn't see his glowing eyes I sighed and let my whole body sag. I let the memory of all the pain and loss flood over me, and a sob swelled in my throat.

My mate...

My kits...

My place...

Gone.

Everything was gone.

How could I-  
A low hiss interrupted my thoughts and I spun around to see a glowing blue gaze. "A-Ashfur?" But the familiar scent of rabbit and moorland made the mouse drop out of my mouth.

"No." the cat grunted. "It's me, Crowfeather, and WindClan needs your help."


End file.
